One Liners… Part 2
Submitted By “Thanatos”
-One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
-To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
-The older you get, the better you realize you were.
-I doubt, therefore I might be.
-Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
-Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
-Definition of an engineer – Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.
1 Ear Up
Northern India – 4K
Star Wars Lightsaber Guide
At The Store
Submitted By “Supagene”
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through – don’t be upset. It won’t be long now.” Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Monica, don’t cry – only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.” When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamour for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, “Monica, we’ll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.” The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began. The mother replied, “I’m Monica – my little girl’s name is Tammy.”
The Koala Bear
Submitted By “Supagene”
A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the bartender brings him a sandwich The Koala eats the sandwich and gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, an proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, “hey who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think your going! The Koala replies, “Hey I’m a Koala. Look it up.” The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: “n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.”
