JmanX.com – Internet Hoarder

A Monument To A Life Wasted Saving Everything On The Net

Yearly Archives: 2016

10 Reasons You Need To Ask For A Raise

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Submitted By “Thanatos”

10 Reasons Why You Should Ask Your Boss For A Raise

  1. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.
  2. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.
  3. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.
  4. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.
  5. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham.
  6. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons.
  7. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, “Charity Case — Return To Sender.”
  8. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota.
  9. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock.
  10. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.

One Liners… Part 2

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Submitted By “Thanatos”

-One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

-To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

-The older you get, the better you realize you were.

-I doubt, therefore I might be.

-Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

-Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.

-Definition of an engineer – Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.

At The Store

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Submitted By “Supagene”

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through – don’t be upset. It won’t be long now.”  Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Monica, don’t cry – only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.”  When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamour for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, “Monica, we’ll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”  The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began. The mother replied, “I’m Monica – my little girl’s name is Tammy.”