One Liners…

Submitted By “Thanatos”

In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on the calendar

Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.

My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, He takes something for it.

Never be afraid to try something new, Remember amateurs built the ark – Professionals built the Titanic.

Love is grand – divorce is a hundred grand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

One of life’s mysteries – How can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.





What is a Cat?

Submitted By “Supagene”

What is a Cat?
1.  Cats do what they want.
2.  They rarely listen to you.
3.  They’re totally unpredictable.
4.  They whine when they are not happy.
5.  When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6.  When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7.  They expect you to cater for their every whim.
8.  They’re moody.
9.  They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion:  They’re tiny little women in cheap fur coats.